@ALBUM: The Rocky Horror Picture Show @SONG: SCIENCE FICTION DOUBLE FEATURE Michael Rennie was ill the day the earth stood still, but he told us where we stand. And Flash Gordon was there in silver underwear; Claude Rains was the Invisible Man. Then something went wrong for Fay Wray and King Kong: They got caught in a celluloid jam. Then at a deadly pace It came from outer space and this is how the message ran: CHORUS: Science Fiction Double Feature: Doctor X will build a creature; See androids fighting Brad and Janet; Anne Francis stars in "Forbidden Planet" -- Uh-oh! -- at the late night, double-feature picture show. I knew Leo G. Carroll was over a barrel when tarantula took to the hills. And I really got hot when I saw Jeanette Scott fight a Triffid that spits poison and kills. Dana Andrews said prunes gave him the runes ["runes" = "the runs" = diahreah] and passing them used lots of skills. But when worlds collide said George Pal to his bride I'm going to give you some terrible thrills like a CHORUS: Science Fiction Double Feature: Doctor X will build a creature; See androids fighting Brad and Janet; Anne Francis stars in "Forbidden Planet" -- Uh-oh! -- at the late night, double-feature picture show. I wanna go to the late night double feature picture show by RKO. Oh-oh-oh_ to the late night, double feature picture show in the back row. To the late night double feature picture show. @SONG: DAMMIT, JANET! BRAD: Hey, Janet -- (JANET: Yes, Brad?) I've got something to say. (Uh-huh?) I really loved the... skillful way you beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet. (Oh, Brad!) The river was deep but I swam it (Old Couple: Janet!) The future is ours so let's plan it (Janet!) So please don't tell me to can it. (Janet!) I've one thing to say and that's, "Dammit, Janet, I love you!" The road was long but I ran it; (Janet!) There's a fire in my heart and you fan it; (Janet!) If there's one fool for you, then I am it; (Janet!) I've one thing to say and that's "Dammit, Janet! I love you!" Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker; There's three ways that love can grow: That's good, bad or mediocre. Oh, J-A-N-E-T, I love you so! JANET: Oh! It's nicer than the one Betty Munroe had (MAG. & COL. THROUT: Oh, Brad!) Now we're engaged and I'm so glad (Oh, Brad!) that you've met Mom and you know Dad. (Oh, Brad! I've one thing to say and that's "Brad, I'm mad for you, too!" Oh Brad! BRAD: Oh, dammit! JANET: I'm mad. . . . BRAD: Oh, Janet! JANET . . . for you__ . BRAD: I love you, too____ BRAD & JANET: There's one thing left to do_-ah-oo__! BRAD: And that's go see the man who began it (Janet!) when we met in his science exam-it; (Janet!) (It) Made me give you the eye and then panic; (Janet!) I've one thing to say and that's "Dammit, Janet, I love you!" Dammit, Janet! JANET: Oh Brad, I'm mad! BRAD: Dammit, Janet! BOTH: I love you! @SONG: OVER AT THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE In the velvet darkness of the blackest night burning bright there's a guiding star, no matter what or__ who you are. There's a light__ (over at the Frankenstein place)! There's a light__ (burning in the fireplace)! There's a light_ , a light__ in the darkness of everybody's life... Darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming; Flow, Morphia, slow; Let the sun and light come streaming into my life__ into my life__ . There's a light__ (over at the Frankenstein place)! There's a light__ (burning in the fireplace)! There's a light_ , a light__ in the darkness of everybody's life__ . @SONG: TIME WARP It's astounding: Time is fleeting! Madness takes its toll; But listen closely not for very much longer; I've got to keep control. I remember doing the Time Warp drinking those moments when the blackness would hit me and the void would be calling, "Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again!" CHORUS: It's just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right; With your hands on your hips. you bring your knees in tight; But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insa-yay-yay-yay-yane. [insane] Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! It's so dreamy! Oh, Fantasy free me so you can't see me! No, not at all. In another dimension with voyeuristic intention. well secluded, I see all. With a bit of a mind flip you're in for a time slip, and nothing can ever be the same. You're spaced out on sensation RIFF: like you're under sedation! GUESTS: Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! Well, I was walking down the street just having a think when a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink; Well it shook-a me up; It took me by surprise! He had a pick-up truck and the devil's eyes; He stared at me and I felt a change; Time meant nothing, never would again! GUESTS: Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! CHORUS: It's just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right; With your hands on your hips. you bring your knees in tight; But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insa-yay-yay-yay-yane. [insane] Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! @SONG: SWEET TRANSVESTITE FRANK: How d' you do? I see you've met my faithful handyman; He's a little brought down because when you knocked, he thought you were the candyman. Don't get strung out by the way I look; Don't judge a book by its cover; I'm not much of a man by the light of day but by night I'm one hell of a lover! I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transexual Transylvania! Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound; You look like you're both pretty groovy. Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal; We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie. BRAD: I'm glad we caught you at home. Could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry. JANET: Right! BRAD: We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car; We don't want to be any worry. FRANK: Well, you got caught with a flat? Well, how about that! Well, Babies, don't you panic; By the light of the night it'll all seem all right; I'll get you a satanic mechanic. I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transexual Transylvania! Ha-ha! Why doncha stay for the night? RIFF: Night! FRANK: Or maybe a bite? COLUMBIA: Bite! FRANK: I could show you my favorite obsession I've been making a man with blonde hair and a tan; And he's good for relieving my tension. I'm just a sweet tranvestite from Transexual Transylvania! I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transexual Transylvania! So come up to the lab and see what's on the slab I see you shiver with antici --- --- pation! But maybe the rain isn't really to blame; So I'll remove the cause --- but not the symptom! @SONG: SWORD OF DAMOCLES ROCKY: The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head, and I've got the feeling someone's going to be cutting the thread; Oh, woe is me! My life is a misery! Oh, can't you see that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer? I woke up this morning with a start when I fell out of bed. GUESTS: That ain't no crime! ROCKY: And left from my dreaming was a feeling of unnamable dread. GUESTS: That ain't no crime! ROCKY: My high is low --- I'm dressed up with no place to go --- and all I know is I'm at the start of a pretty big downer. GUESTS: Sha-la-la-la, that ain't no crime! ROCKY: The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head, (That ain't no crime!) and I've got the feeling someone's going to be cutting the thread (That ain't no crime!) Oh, woe is me! My life is a mystery; Oh, can't you see that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer? GUESTS: Sha-la-la-la, that ain't no crime! @SONG: CHARLES ATLAS SONG FRANK: A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds ill get sand in his face when kicked to the ground and soon in the gym with a determined chin, the sweat from his pores as he works for his cause will make him glisten and gleam. And with massage and just a little bit of steam, he'll be pink and quite clean. He'll be a strong man Oh, Honey! GUESTS: But, the wrong man? FRANK: He'll eat nutritious, high protein and swallow raw eggs, try to build up his shoulders his chest, arms and legs. Such an effort! If he only knew of my plan! In just seven days, FRANK, GUESTS, RIFF, COLUMBIA, MAGENTA: I can make you a man! FRANK: He'll do press-ups and chin-ups, do the snatch, clean and jerk. He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work. Such strenuous living, I just don't understand, when in just seven days, oh Baby, I can make you a man! @SONG: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SATURDAY NIGHT? EDDIE: Whatever happened to Saturday night when you dressed up sharp and you felt all right? It don't seem the same since cosmic light came into my life and I thought I was divine. I used to for a ride with a chick who'd go and listen to the music on the radio; A saxaphone was blowing on a rock'n roll show, and we climbed in the back seat and we really had a good time! CHORUS (ALL): Hot patootie! Bless my soul! I really love that rock'n roll! EDDIE: My head used to swim from the perfume I smelled; My hands kind of fumbled with her white plastic belt; I'd taste her baby-pink lipstick and that's when I'd melt; And she whispered in my ear tonight she really was mine! Get back in front and put some hair oil on; Buddy Holly was singing his very last song; With your arm around your girl you tried to sing along; It felt pretty good, woh! Really had a good time! CHORUS (ALL): Hot patootie! Bless my soul! I really love that rock'n roll! @SONG: CHARLES ATLAS SONG REPRISE FRANK: But a deltoid and a bicep, hot groin, a tricep makes me --- Oooh! --- shake! Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the hand. ALL: In just seven days --- Oh, Baby, I can make you a man! FRANK: I don't want no dissension, just dynamic tension; JANET: I'm a muscle fan! ALL: In just seven days I can make you a man! FRANK: Dig it if you can! ALL: In just seven days I can make you a man! @SONG: TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME JANET: I was feeling done in; Couldn't win; I'd only ever kissed before. COLUMBIA: You mean she... ? MAGENTA: Uh-huh. JANET: I thought there's no use getting into heavy petting; It only leads to trouble and seat-wetting; Now all I want to know is how to go --- I've tasted blood and I want more! COL & MAG: More, more, more! JANET: I'll put up no resistance; I want to stay the distance; I've got an itch to scratch; I need assistance. CHORUS: JANET: Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me! I want to be dirty! Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me, Creature of the Night! Then if anything grows while you pose, I'll oil you up and rub you down. COL & MAG: Down, down, down! JANET: And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction: You need a friendly hand Oh, and I need action! CHORUS: JANET: Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me! I want to be dirty! Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me, Creature of the Night! @SONG: EDDIE'S TEDDY [BEAR] DR. SCOTT: From the day he was born, he was trouble; He was the thorn in his mutter's side; ["Mutter" = Mother] She tried in vain. NARRATOR: But he never caused her nothing but shame. SCOTT: He left home the day she died. From the day she was gone, All he wanted was rock and roll, porn, und a motor bike Shooting up junk. NARRATOR: He was a low-down, cheap little punk. SCOTT: Taking everyone for a ride. CHORUS ALL: When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy You knew he was a no good kid; When he threatened your life with a switch blade knife, -- FRANK: What a guy! JANET: Makes you cry. SCOTT: Und I did! ["Und" = German for "and"] COLUMBIA: Everybody shoved him; I very nearly loved him; I said, "Hey, listen to me; Stay sane inside insanity." But he locked the door and threw away the key. SCOTT: But he must have been drawn into something. making him warn me in a note which reads: ALL: What's it say? What's it say? EDDIE: "I'm out of my head! Oh, hurry, or I may be dead! They mustn't carry out their evil deeds." CHORUS ALL: When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy You knew he was a no good kid; When he threatened your life with a switch blade knife, -- FRANK: What a guy! JANET: Makes you cry. SCOTT: Und I did! ["Und" = German for "and"] @SONG: PLANET SHMANET, JANET FRANK: I'll tell you once; I won't tell you twice; You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss! You're apple pie, don't taste too nice; You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss! I've laid the seed; It should be all you need You're as sensual as a pencil wound up like an "E" or first string. when we made it; Did ya hear a bell ring? You've got a block; Take my advice: You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss! The transducer will seduce ya; It's something you'll get used to; A mental mind-fuck can be nice. SCOTT: You won't find earth people quite the easy mark you imagine: This sonic transducer, it is, I suppose, some kind of audiovibratory, physiomolecular transport device... BRAD: You mean... ? . SCOTT: Yes, Brad, it's something we ourselves have been working on for quite some time. But it seems our friend here has found a way of perfecting it --- a device which is capable of breaking down solid matter and then projecting it through space, and --- who knows --- perhaps even time itself. JANET: You mean he's gonna send us to another planet? FRANK: Planet, shmanet Janet! You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss! You'd better wise up, build your thighs up; You'd better wise up! NARRATOR: And then she cried out: JANET: Stop!! FRANK: Don't get hot and flustered; Use a bit of mustard. BRAD: You're a hot dog, but you'd better not try to hurt her, Frankfurter. SCOTT: You're a hot dog but you'd better not try to hurt her, Frankfurter. JANET: You're a hot dog. . . . @SONG: ROSE-TINT MY WORLD COLUMBIA: It was great when it all began, I was a regular Frankie fan; But it was over when he had the plan to start working on a muscle-man Now the only thing that gives me hope is my love of a certain dope rose-tints my world and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain. ROCKY: I'm just seven hours old. truly beautiful to behold, and somebody should be told my libido hasn't been controlled? Now the only thing I've come to trust is an orgasmic rush of lust rose-tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain. BRAD: It's beyond me! Help me, Mommy! I'll be good, you'll see! Take this dream away! What's this??? Let's see --- I feel sexy! What's come over me?!?! Whoa, here it comes again!!!!! JANET: Oh I -- I feel released; Bad times deceased; My confidence has increased; Reality is here; The game has been disbanded My mind has been expanded It's a gas that Frankie's landed; His lust is so sincere. FRANK: Whatever happened to Fay Wray that delicate satin-draped frame, as it clung to her thigh? How I started to cry 'cause I wanted to be dressed just the same. Give yourself over to absolute pleasure; Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh, erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it! -- Oh, oh, oh! Don't dream it -- Be it. Don't dream it -- Be it! SCOTT: We've got to get out of this trap before this decadence saps our wills. I've got to be strong and try to hang on. or else my mind may well snap and my life will be lived for the thrill. BRAD: It's beyond me! Help me, Mommy! JANET: God bless Lili St. Cyr! FRANK: My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my! I'm a wild and an untamed thing! I'm a bee with a deadly sting; You gotta hit and your mind goes *ping*! Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing; So let the party and the sounds rock on! We're gonna shake it till the life has gone; Rose-tint my world; Keep me safe from my trouble and pain! @SONG: I'M GOING HOME FRANK: On the day I went away, -- GUEST: Good-bye! FRANK: -- was all I had to say GUESTS: Now I . . . I FRANK: I want to come again and stay! GUESTS: Oh my, my! FRANK: Smile, and that will mean I may; I've seen -- oh -- blue skies through the tears in my eyes, and I realize I'm going home! GUESTS: I'm going home. FRANK: Everywhere it's been the same -- GUESTS: Feeling FRANK: -- like I'm outside in the rain -- GUESTS: Wheeling FRANK: -- free to try and find a game -- GUESTS: Dealing FRANK: -- cards for sorrow, cards for pain, 'cause I've seen blue skies through the tears in my eyes And I realize --- I'm going home! @SONG: SUPER HEROES BRAD: I've done a lot; God knows I've tried to find the truth; I've even lied; But all I know is down inside -- ALL: I'm bleeding. JANET: And superheroes come to feast to taste the flesh not yet deceased; And all I know is still the beast --- ALL: is feeding. NARRATOR: And crawling on the planet's face, some insects called the human race lost in time and lost in space ALL: and meaning. . . . @SONG: SCIENCE FICTION (REPRISE) Science fiction double feature: Frank has built and lost his creature; Darkness has conquered Brad and Janet; The servants gone to a distant planet. At the late night double feature picture show I wanna go. To the late night double-feature picture show.