Subject: SPAM - Song Parody: "Boots Like Redmond Spirit"
From: [email-masked] (Avery Ray Colter)
Date: 2 Nov 1995 05:14:28 GMT
Newsgroups: comp.sys.apple,comp.sys.mac,comp.sys.intel,comp.sys.ibm.pc,comp.os.ms-windows,alt.destroy.microsoft,alt.os.windows95.crash.crash.crash,rec.humor

BOOTS LIKE REDMOND SPIRIT

(Sung to the music of a similarly named piece
 by the late Melodic Madman Kurt Cobain.)

PC-heads line up by the score;
Their OS is finally in the store.
It has some new things in its pack
We've had for ten years on the Mac.
Windows, Windows, Windows, Windows...
Windows, Windows, Windows, Windows...
Windows, Windows, Windows, Windows...
Windows, Windows, Windows...
HERE'S OUR SYSTEM!
NOW UPGRADE IT!
 SELL OUR SOULS TO
 THOSE WHO MADE IT!
A NEW ERA
WE WILL CALL IT!
 SO WHAT IF WE
 CAN'T INSTALL IT?!
  WE'LL KEEP HOPING,
  NEVER STOP NOW;
  TRYING HARD TO
  START IT UP NOW...
  <DAMN!>

King Billy celebrates today,
Partying up the Redmond way.
He's just a simple man, you see;
All he wants is mo-no-po-ly.
Windows, Windows, Windows, Windows...
Windows, Windows, Windows, Windows...
Windows, Windows, Windows, Windows...
Windows, Windows, Windows...
IN THE HEADLIGHTS
YOU ARE CAUGHT NOW
 OF THE M.S.
 JUGGERNAUT NOW!
COMIN' AT YA,
YOU CAN'T SWERVE IT;
 GET YOUR KEYBOARD
 WHEN YOU RESERVE IT!
  TO CONCLUSIONS
  WE WILL RUSH NOW:
  "THE DEMISE OF
  MACINTOSH NOW!"

They say that Windows 95
Will cause the Mac to take a dive;
But start it up and you'll see why
Windows, you make a grown man cry.
Windows, Windows, Windows, Windows...
Windows, Windows, Windows, Windows...
Windows, Windows, Windows, Windows...
Windows, Windows, Windows...
COME ON ANSWER,
TECH SERVICE;
 WE ARE GETTING
 REALLY NERVOUS!
WE COULD BE OUT
APPLE-BASHING...
 BUT OUR BOOT-UPS
 JUST KEEP CRASHING!
YOU SAY IF WE
WANNA THRIVE NOW,
 GOTTA GETTA
 BIGGER DRIVE NOW,
AND MORE MEMORY.
AIN'T IT FUNNY:
 WE THOUGHT WE WERE
 SAVING MONEY
  BUYING NO-NAME
  INTEL BOXES;
  GUESS WE'RE NOT SUCH
  CLEVER FOXES!
THIS CHAOTIC
SOUPED UP DOS NOW
 HAS US AT A
 TOTAL LOSS NOW!
HAVE THE DRIVERS
FRIED THE FAT NOW?
 WHERE'S THE AUTOEXEC.BAT NOW?
CAN'T BELIEVE WE
GOTTA LOOK NOW
 FOR THAT CRUSTY
 OLD DOS BOOK NOW!
THOUGHT WE'D NEVER
HAVE TO READ IT;
 DIG IT OUT NOW,
 GONNA NEED IT!
SETTING HIMEM,
SETTING LOMEM,
 LOADING WINDOWS
 LEAVES ME NOMEM!
WE GIVE UP NOW,
YOU CAN'T GRAPPLE
 HOW TO CHEAPLY
 MIMIC APPLE!
WHAT CAN WE DO?
WHO CAN TELL NOW?
 SOMEONE SAVE US
 FROM THIS HELL NOW!
  YA YA YA YA...
  YA YA YA YA...
  YA YA YA YA...
  YA YA YA YA...

Avery Ray Colter    AMA #656940, Honda `77 CB750K   NAAFA
[email-masked]	    VGL Mechwarrior "Elfcat"	       National
Association
(510) 671-8024      Fresenius USA, Walnut Creek     to Advance
Fat-Acceptance